The other side of the fence.....is it greener?? Or is that man desires what he does not have?
Many of us feel or would have felt the same way.....the story of many in the United States.....away from our motherland,away from our family and friends and the lovely food of India....only hoping to make money and get back after a few years.
After the wedding and much before....it was the movies which showcased the US of A from atop airplanes filming the beautiful locales,skylines and only the good things about the USA that mesmerized us.It was a desire to get here fast,only to realize that mirage feeling soon in a new place.Quietness,loneliness,boredom,sedentary lifestyle,and many more greet us and we feel lost,totally.There 's always a tradeoff and you start enjoying the good roads,cars,luxuries,etc and you begin to like travelling to explore and grow.The new off the boat feeling lasts for several days,maybe a year or two,then.... starting a family,attending to your kids and family members become a priority and career takes a break,a big gap of many years.Potluck parties,playdates and other outings with fellow Indians give us pleasure and knowledge and we grow exchanging ideas and enjoying the company of many talented people.
Again.. sometimes the Global economy plummets and again it's a job market with fewer opportunities. It does recover...you find a job..work late hours..balancing family life and a career....but a something missing feeling ...a void remains.
Life goes on...talks to India on the Reliance network,visits to India every year either on British Airways,Lufthansa or Air France,enjoying our vacation,Hmm...then it's the same routined life,sometimes even putting our desires,our own identity behind and going with the flow.Can write a movie about the feelings galore.Then there's the let's go back to India decision,maybe for the child's education and strong rooted culture or to join our family members and be there for them.But time is the factor. It keeps getting postponed,the big complete move is waiting to happen.
I guess..People wanting to move back to India from the US after earning 10 or more years for a sufficiently good life in India,face initial problems. The political and system frustrations are abundant.The initial adjusting time ranges from a minimum of 2 months.Untill then if you want to avoid getting frustrated and want to enjoy the decision,first things first,get yourself a posh apartment,a good full size car,a driver,a cook and an assistant for yourself.The workplace and the kids' school must be near the house,otherwise frustrations due to traffic must be dealt with everyday.An easy way to avoid this when you're travelling around is to close all the windows,leave the driver to deal with the horrible traffic,read magazines or newspapers inside the car being in the backseat and arrive in style to the destination.That way it leaves you a little relaxed and calm.
Also initially you feel you have to form a group with like minded people,NRIs and other hi-fi people in the society so that you socialize,grow generally and settle down.But later you realize that you need to adapt and it is only when you live with the common man that you grow.
Then there is this postponing of coming back to India next year,the x+1 syndrome for everyone and it leads to a lot of discontent,arguments,etc.The decision to move is the toughest where you come to a crossroad and wonder what you have to do,for some it's a life and death situation also when you cant' take a decision soon.But slowly,human nature is to adapt,but if you have to enjoy the good things in India,after being an NRI,you have to have good contacts and give importance to clean surroundings and take things into your own hands,be it beautifying the neighborhood or setting up a group or setting up any kind of business or to grow generally.
It's life as it comes,learning thro' one's own experiences and mistakes...then it's to look at life with a positive attitude...that's all that matters...and you can be happy wherever you are.it's definitely an unpredictable world.And as we live on,it's left to us to remain happy and make other people around us happy and realizing that's the only important meaning in life.
Please do comment on this and give the steps necessary for settling down so that many will benefit from it and it's easy for them to make the move,maybe even for my family when we're to consider the big moving decision after 3-4 years.
Thanks and keep in touch